Alphabet Psyche Test

Writers often come up with words or sentences that they want to use in their work at some point and they typically wait for the appropriate opportunity to come up. With this in mind, let me just state that “nothing worth saying can’t be said in 2-or-3000 words.” Of course, this is a play on some statement about being able to make a concise point with as few words as possible, but I like mine better for the comic value. And in case you are wondering, it really has nothing to do with this blog post, I just wanted to use it for the sake of using it. 😊

Let’s move on to the actual meat of today’s blog post which came to me one morning when I woke up at about 4am, about three or four hours sooner than I wanted. Recently, I have been feeling somewhat distressed and my early morning risings have been a symptom of that distress. I don’t know if it is just due to the fact that it is still winter, a time of year that really saps my spark, or because of the grief I feel about my friend’s death, or other struggles I am having with this and that. Maybe writing this blog post will help me out and move me beyond my distress.

As I wake, I’m in a most foul mood and I try to move past it by thinking about what I tell my mom when she is complaining about something. I suggest that she write a gratitude list based on the alphabet. At this particular moment I think that this is what I should do, but truth be told, I’m not really feeling it. As I am pondering this further, I wonder why I am having trouble sleeping these days and why I can’t pull my self up out of the dark hole.

The next thing I know, I am thinking about doing an alphabet review of what I am feeling now and believe I have stumbled upon a new psych test to determine where one is at any given time, and how bad, or good, one is. I decided to give it a whirl and go with the first thing(s) that comes to mind.

A – anger – Anger at the injustices in the world. As a deep feeling, empathetic person, this is something that has always been in my head and it can cause me lots of grief if I focus on it too much.

B – bitter – Isn’t that something; that’s the next word that comes to mind and right now I’m feeling bitter. It is mostly about one of those things in life that one has no control over, but which will affect me when others involved decide the outcome. Just so you don’t think it is something horrid, like a broken relationship, just know that it has to do with a financial situation where others will be making a decision that affects me. I feel bitter about this situation because the big companies will most likely be the winners and once again, I will be shafted. Time will tell.

C – courage – Thank goodness this is in there somewhere. I know that I need to have courage and continue to stay strong, to stay positive, to take things one day at a time.

D – death – The death of my friend is still fresh in my mind. Although I’m not focusing so much on his death I think the overall effect of the grief of that experience weighs heavy on my soul right now.

E – Eden – I’d sure like to find some peace in some kind of Eden right now.

F – Frank – My uncle Frank comes to mind. I am not sure why. He is an uncle that died quite a few years ago. Only my mom survives from that generation.

G – ghost – Why does ghost come to mind? What can I say, it’s 4 in the morning and I am groggy and out of sorts.

H – hell – Life feels like hell right now. I don’t like it!

I – ignorance. Ignorance can be bliss. Living without thinking about all the stuff that’s in our head. Wouldn’t that be nice!?

J – jolly – Well, I’m certainly not feeling jolly these days.

It was at this point I was getting the alphabet mixed up and decided to stop.

It would be interesting to see how this list would differ, based on the space someone is in at any given time. I did stay up for a while and then went back to sleep for a couple more hours and when I awoke, I reviewed what I had recorded. My state of mind had calmed considerably, but some of the aftereffects could still be felt.

Once I was fully awake and pondering what I should include in this blog post, I decided I should create a scale for those who use this psyche test, like those you find in magazines or on-line. Although feelings are not negative in and of themselves, let’s say we use bad and good just for the ease of defining them. So, a scale of 1 – 26, with the results calculated as follows.

1 – 2 baddies – a rough day/period – hope is felt – this too shall pass.
2 – 4 baddies – testee should be wary – find someone to talk to – there is still hope that this too shall pass, maybe!
5 – 10 baddies – skating on thin ice – consider antidepressants – lots of them.
11 – 24 baddies – stay in bed – hibernate – maybe next year will bring the spring – probably not.
25 – 26 baddies – better call MAID.

Yes, the list/scale/prognosis is all in fun, but still, if you are feeling a significant number of baddies, it’s time to seek help. There is always hope, and the sun will shine again – I promise!

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You likely recall me talking about making an alphabet gratitude list earlier in the blog post. When I wrote my book Reflections and talked about suggesting this to my mother, I thought that I should take my own advice and do the same. Below is what I came up with at the time, and it is still applicable to my state of mind in the clear light of day.

A – Adulthood – mine!
B – Brothers – Dave & Doug
C – Children – Emma
D – Denise – my beautiful wife.
E – Eyesight – to see all the glories that life has to offer.
F – Family – mine and my extended family.
G – Grandchildren – Olivia & Madelyn.
H – Home – all the places I have called home.
I – Intelligence – and all that has allowed me to achieve.
J – Joy – which I have experienced in abundance.
K – Kindness – of others, and the ability to be kind.
L – Love – the ability to give and the delight of receiving.
M – Mother – Lorraine, aka Lou, aka Grey Goose, aka Mama C.
N – Noodles – especially the ones that come with Hungarian Chicken.
O – Openness – the ability to be open to change.
P – Passion – mine – having the passion to create and live.
Q – Questions – the ability to ask them and not fear the answers.
R – Recovery – due to a life-long effort at it.
S – Spring – the season.
T – Tea, especially Earl Grey.
U – Undying Love – that I feel from Denise.
V – Vision – the ability to see outside the box.
W – Wisdom – as shared by fellow spiritual travelers.
X – Quiet – I love the quiet when I can get it.
Y – Young – at heart, not growing old before my time.
Z – Zest – the zest I feel for life when I am creating.

What would your list look like?

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Speaking of psychology, I want to share with you a surprise I had while recently reading “Harriet Wolf, 7th Book of Wonders,” by Julianna Baggott. I was quite far into the chapter called Wolpe’s Method of Systematic Desensitization (chapter 19) when I came across these lines.

“Wait,” he says. “How are you really doing?”
“My mother keeps intruding on my thoughts.”
“Trapped thinking,” Ron says. “You’ve got to break it.” And he reminds me about his first wife’s struggle with OCD. “Have you ever heard her say ‘Stop,’ aloud, but kind of to herself?”
“No,” I say.
“She used to all the time. Sometimes people around her would just stop, thinking she was talking to them. It’s Wolpe’s theory, fruit of the 1950s. I know what you’re thinking—a real apex in psychological research, right?” This is not what I am thinking. “You say ‘Stop,’ take a deep breath, exhale, and divert your attention.”

Of course, they go on to make fun of it a bit by saying,

“Did at work?”
“She opted for high doses of medication.”

Baggott, Julianna. Harriet Wolf’s Seventh Book of Wonders: A Novel (pp. 231-232). Little, Brown and Company. Kindle Edition.

The surprise is that this is something I use all the time, and I’ve been using it for years. It is not something I have ever heard anyone suggest as a way to deal with intruding thoughts, and certainly not something I have heard referred to as Wolpe’s Method of Systematic Desensitization.

Stop – Created by Don Cheke

I think of my use of “Stop” as a slogan, like those used in Al-Anon, such as One Day at a Time, where the goal is the same, a gentle reminder to stop the old tapes that want to come back and play in my mind when I am struggling. In fact, I was just doing it last night as all my old past mistakes came flooding back into my mind and I was not interested in letting the crazy get the best of me. Occasionally, the crazy can be persistent and after I say stop two or three, or four times, I might say, “oh just fuck off already!” That might make me chuckle and the cycle of crazy breaks. I always feel that the gentle stop is the best, since the harsher tone is not so gentle. Use as a last resort, I say. 👍😊

To wrap up, let me just say that writing this blog post lifted my spirits considerably.

If you found the alphabet psyche test above interesting, try it yourself and let me know your prognosis in the comments. 😊

Donald B. Cheke – January 27, 2025