Route 66 – March 12 to March 20

Today we will reflect on a few things that have transpired over the last week or so. The blog post is a bit longer than I thought it would be, so perhaps grab a coffee or tea before you dig in. Hopefully you will find the blog post interesting and worth the time spent reading. Some of it is a progress report of sorts from things talked about in the last two blog posts, and some will be new.

March 16, 2026

I met with my dentist on this day to have the crown removed from the troublesome molar. It proved to be a very difficult task for my dentist since crowns are not meant to be removed. I spent two hours in the chair while he chipped away at the crown and cleared away the remaining adhesive. Although he was as professional as always, I could tell he found the task quite challenging and once I suggested we take a break. He concurred. After the removal, he checked the remaining stump and the gums. He also took an additional x-ray to look deeper. In the end he confirmed that the remaining stump and roots were a-okay. He also confirmed that I didn’t need a root-canal. That was great news for me, since I didn’t want to lose the tooth. Molds were taken to create a temporary crown and for production of a new crown which I will have installed on March 24^th. Throughout the whole procedure I felt no pain – even the crown removal was easy to endure, considering what was happening in there, Luckily there is help with freezing. Even the initial freezing is painless, as my dentist always uses a topical freezing to numb the location where he uses a needle.

To show the concern my dentist had for what he thought was a difficult case, he texted me twice over the next two days to see how I was feeling. I assured him that even after the freezing came out, I experienced no pain. When I took my mom to her dentist’s appointment later in the week, she asked me to come in with her for support. When he saw me, he asked again if I was alright and if I had any pain. I said that I had no pain at all and he asked if I was just saying that to be nice. I reassured him that his “cause no pain motto” was still intact. As always, I gave him a big hug on the way out and said how much I appreciate his talents – something I feel quite deeply.

One thing to note is that now that I am looking back at all the health concerns that I had mentioned in the last blog posts and that seemed somewhat overwhelming, seem now to have been not that dramatic at all. That is not too surprising, if I say so, as that is how things usually work. Going in seems harder than it will be, as life has proved time and again. I guess the moral of this is to take life as it comes, know that there is help when needed, and hindsight will eventually prove that worry wasn’t really required.

March 17, 2026

Although I received my first Online Therapy Unit on the 16^th, I decided to wait until the next day to get started. The lesson came with many PDF files which looked much like Power Point slides. They were very informative and provided many opportunities to explore my inner workings. There were several areas where questions were posed, and I took time to write about what I was feeling during the process and answering some of the questions. Much of the material was a rehash of things I have already learned, but like all things in the world of therapy, different words are used which makes one think about it in a different way. During the next days I read a number of other articles that were part of the additional resources package. It wasn’t very clear to me what I was supposed to do with my thoughts and answers so I emailed my assigned therapist – this via the online therapy desktop application. I shared what I had written and waited for a response. I received a reply on the Thursday of that week, the day she has set aside to communicate with her, either by email or by phone if needed. She provided a thought-filled response and posed a few questions. Now that I know how this process works, I will be able to proceed without issue.

Although I do not intend to share all my thoughts and correspondence, I am going to mention a few things. Perhaps you will be able to relate to what I say or simply find it interesting. Some of this initial discourse will sound familiar as I have talked about it in previous blog posts. I will likely wonder why I am being so vulnerable after I write this blog post, like I always do, but I will do it anyway. I am Don Cheke, without apology. 👍😊

Below are some of the things I wrote in my response to my therapist.

I am going to be very vulnerable about who I am and what makes me tick. Keep in mind that one of my basic driving forces (part of my baggage) is my need for approval – something to let me know that I am a worthwhile person. In many of my blog posts I talk about this need for “atta-boys”, as I call them. All through my life I would always be encouraged to work harder, think harder, and dig deeper to achieve these boosts and the encouragement that came/comes from them. Even though I think being famous would be something that would achieve this, I know to my core that this is not true, and I often remind myself that “the spiritual traveler is not afraid to be unknown”. Even still, this is, and continues to be a lifelong defect of character, as one might call it in Al-Anon. I find the term defect of character a bit harsh, but it is something that I would like to manage “perfectly”, which we know is not possible. There is no magic day when I will know all and be able to coast through life without issue.

Throughout my life I have always felt what might be called an existential void – it feels like withdrawal. Before recovery I drank and smoked. After I quit drinking, I found coffee which felt like an addiction. After quitting all of those, I found, and still find, that I use food to fill the void. Note that I quit drinking when I was 22 years old (I’m 66 now) – not because I was an alcoholic, but because I was headed there and didn’t want to end up like my father. Although I did try AA, it was not for me. I could relate to some of the drinking stories, but not the feelings. When I went to Al-Anon, it was like I was home. There, I found my mom and all her Al-Anon friends that I had known over the years. Al-Anon was the start of my recovery, but I did much more than attend meetings. I expanded my reading and my search for meaning and true happiness, and to find a way to love myself.

Why do I say what I did above!? I do so, so that you know I struggle with this atta-boy business, and sometimes I wonder if it is always the driving force to what I do even in a counselling situation. Am I telling you all this, with the qualifiers I use, to ensure you like me, or approve of me. Or am I telling you what I know because I want to share and find answers, as I think is usually my intent. As I will say often, I do know the answers to my questions, but I still question my motivations.

… I believe that doing this course will allow me to look at things differently, perhaps reaffirming what I already know, or to help me process current struggles without additional worry. I am sharing the course material with my wife, Denise, so she can see what it is like. She may apply at some point to follow your chronic health issues program. I only mention this because today at lunch Denise and I were talking about lesson 1 and how it seems that many of the things spelled out in the lesson are very much the same things we have learned in Al-Anon, and through our other routes to recovery (reading, writing, sharing). This is especially interesting to me because not so long ago I was wondering how folks without a program manage their baggage and grow in mental health. Although I know there are many routes, like counseling, it became obvious that your Online Therapy Unit is one such route. I am so pleased that fellow Saskachewanites are leading the way in this – something to be proud of. 👍

Denise and I also talked about some of the DIY and extra resource questions. We asked each other to define what we are as people at our core. Although we have talked about this and other things over our life together, we decided that reading through the OTU materials would provide many things to talk about. Think about it – it’s like going to an Al-Anon meeting where a topic comes up every now and again. One doesn’t just look at the topic once and that is it. Every time the topic comes up, it is chance to see what one has learned and how one’s behaviors have changed or what wisdom has been gained. We are looking forward to what discussions the OTU materials will spark in us. We talked about much more, and it was a lovely time.

I have, indeed, noticed the cycle of what you call the unhelpful thoughts, the physical symptoms, and the unhelpful behaviors. I have been able to identify these for decades. Some of the crazy ones still pop up and I am able to stop them before the physical symptoms, and the unhelpful behaviors take hold. For instance, when something occurs to start the crazy, be it a stressful time or a self-perceived failing, my mind starts to list all the mistakes I think I have made throughout my life – reminding me what a unworthy person I am. I am able to recognize when this starts, and over the course of years I have used a self-made slogan to reign in the beast. I simply say, “Stop.” It is not an aggressive statement, but a gentle reminder of what the old baggage is trying to achieve. Sometimes I need to say it a few times, but it does stop the crazy. On rare occasions, I have to be a bit harsher just to wake myself up, if that makes sense. For all the things that can bring any of the old behaviors, I can typically get past them quickly before anything needs additional attention, like making amends for being short tempered or things like that. All that said, I guess I use food too often to fill the void or stop the crazy. It feels like an addiction at times and recently I thought for a moment that I should go back to coffee and use that instead. I don’t really want to do that, as giving it up previously is seen as a win to me. I don’t want to step back!

Although I wrote much more than this, I will end with one additional bit. The therapist asked if there are any cultural customs or traditions I follow. I responded with:

There are not. I am a white male, born in Saskatoon, and living here all my life, except for 1.5 years in my early twenties when I lived and worked on a dairy farm 40 minutes out of town. There is a great story behind that if you want to hear about it sometime. It was when my life changed big-time and my road to recovery began.

Although I am not religious, I have a spirituality that I am comfortable with. Out of curiosity, I asked Google AI, “what is a word that might be considered spirituality, but is not connected to religion or the spirit in the common meaning.” Interestingly enough, it used a word I have never considered but makes perfect sense to me. It used Numinous and explained, “numinous describes the deep feeling of wonder, awe, and mystery that one might experience when looking at a starry sky, standing in a vast forest, or appreciating profound art. It suggests a sense of something “greater than oneself” without necessitating a theological, supernatural, or religious explanation. Isn’t that nice! I’m not sure I would use that term, per se, to describe my spirituality, but it sure has the essence spot on.

March 15, 2026 & March 19, 2025

My online artist friend, Suhail, released two new blog post on the dates mentioned above. They are called “Missing Puzzle Piece: An Abstract Art Jigsaw Story We All Know” and “Jigsaw Puzzle Psychology: Why Some Pieces Stay With Us Forever”. Both provided an in-depth look at some new abstract paintings that he has produced, incorporating jigsaw puzzle pieces into the mix. Reading through the articles, one can see that he views life as a puzzle, and the pieces, including the missing ones, have a deeper meaning. As always, they provided lots to ponder.

I commented on the first one with this:

… My biggest missing piece came when my father killed himself at the age of 47. I was 25 at the time and well into my own recovery, but I remember clearly feeling the finality of what he had done. There would never be any recovery on his part, and there would never again be the possibility of a better relationship with him. Although he was already out of our lives for the most part, there was always that little bit of hope. No more…. I occasionally think about that missing piece and wonder how things might have been different had he lived, but as stated, it would forever remain a missing piece.

I liked the blending of the puzzle pieces. Instead of a sharp edge with nothing in the missing piece space it is blurred, indicating that it has some memory or hint of what the missing piece should be. That is like my example above – although he is gone, there is the memory of what was, and maybe should or could have been. Like you said, it holds and honors the feelings.

When you asked about what the shape of our piece would be, I thought that mine would change, depending on my state of mind at the time. Sharp and spiky at times when I feel cheated, smooth and gentle when I am feeling empathetic, gentle, and grateful – not for his death, but for my own recovery and the road that I took, so unlike his. Colors too, would reflect the feelings at the time.

A great piece, Suhail! That is the art and the blog post.

For the second blog post I commented with this:

My thoughts before getting into the blog post.

A couple of years ago I started to make 1000-piece puzzles for something to pull me away from my computer. I purchased a 2’ by 4’ table and set it up in an open space in the living room. Doing something other than computer work felt nice and the process of building the puzzles was/is an enjoyable challenge. I discovered that I make puzzles like I do everything else. I focus on the task and don’t stop until I am finished. As such, the puzzles were being completed in two or three days – three if I allowed some time to step away. Instead of feeling guilty, I decided that this is how I work and that it is okay to do them this way – it is part of who I am. That is not to say that I can’t take time to mediate and be still, but I do enjoy the engagement I bring to the tasks at hand. Luckily for me, I found that Costco often has puzzles for sale and they sell for a lot less than they do elsewhere. When I shop there, I will pick up four at a time.

Whenever I finish a puzzle, I find a note from my wife that says, “Whoo-hoo!” It is her way of supporting the process. 👍😊

My thoughts while reading the blog post.

I have found new puzzles to occasionally have missing pieces, through no fault of mine, and once I found a puzzle with multiple pieces for the same spot – which likely meant that the pieces weren’t being ejected from the last puzzle pressing(s) and came out later. I wonder what these multiple pieces mean in the psychological sense of this blog post. Something to ponder, I would say.

On the rare occasion, I have started a puzzle and come to a point where it is no fun at all. You know the type, too much of the same dark colors and no identifiable patterns that can help one make progress. In these cases, I have swept the works back in the box and moved on. Much like reading a lousy book that just doesn’t bring enjoyment – I feel that life is just too short to continue with these things. It is an analogy for life that says we can change paths – it’s not the end of the world to do so. In part, it is having the wisdom to know whether one should continue – or not.

Can I ever relate to what you said here: “It is not just that an unfinished puzzle stays in your mind. It is that your mind actively continues working on it even when you’ve walked away from the table. While you’re making dinner, having a conversation or lying awake at 2 am. A quiet part of your brain is still turning the problem over. Still looking for the piece.”

In case it isn’t apparent, I am looking at the puzzle in this blog post, and through my own interpretation, as an analogy of life itself.

Through my own journey, I have discovered that there will always be missing pieces to the puzzle. There came a point when I realized that I would never find the answers for some of the big questions that I truly wanted answers for – that there wasn’t one single theory of everything. When I finally learned this and stopped looking, I felt more at peace than I ever had. That doesn’t mean that I don’t stop learning or trying to grow, but I can, at least, quit banging my head against the wall looking for that which cannot be found.

The gold thread in this piece reminded me how the journey of life unfolds one piece at a time. It’s something we can only define as logical, but it seems so magical since we couldn’t have imagined the pieces flowing in such a way – it seems designed for our benefit. It’s not as simple as just following the yellow brick road. When I look back on my work world it always appears that the last piece always prepared me for the next piece. Now through to the end of my work world, I couldn’t have planned that if I had tried – yet there it is in full color – a completed puzzle – a beauty like no other.

Thanks Suhail, for another thought-provoking blog post.

We had a bit more of a chat in the comments – something I always appreciate as we dig deeper.

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Additional thoughts

After finishing the TV series called The Mentalist, I decided to rewatch the TV series called Bones. Like it was for The Mentalist, I knew that I would enjoy watching it again. At this point, I am nearing the end of season 2. Although I am not keen on the gross state of most of the bodies they encounter, I take it in stride and remember that death isn’t always pretty. I also dislike the serial killer aspects in some episodes, but I can detach and still enjoy the show. Like it was with The Mentalist, I love the character development, especially when the beauty of compassion and love feature prominently.

I am currently reading a book called Child in Tuscany by Rhys Bowen. It is a light read that takes place mostly in Italy. Aside from the main story, there is a bit of art discussed in the pages, and that tickles the artist in me. I asked CoPilot to provide a brief synopsis in case you were interested. Although I am not finished, I know that I will enjoy it to the end.

CoPilot offers this synopsis:

The Tuscan Child is a dual‑timeline historical novel in which Joanna Langley, grieving her father’s death in the 1970s, discovers a mysterious letter that sends her to a small Tuscan village to uncover his hidden past as a downed RAF pilot in WWII — and the secrets, betrayals, and unexpected connections he left behind. CoPilot lists newbookrecommendations.com as its source.

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Feature image

Remember that we are travelling Route 66, which in my mind is the ultimate vintage trek.

Vintage Commercial Coffee Grinder – Modeled & Rendered by Don Cheke

The commercial coffee grinder is something I 3D modeled and rendered for fun in 2020. It is being used here as my feature image. I started my first job with Safeway back in 1975 and I remember with fondness, this old grinder that customers could use to grind coffee beans. One of my tasks was to ensure that it was clean for each new customer. It is just one of the many good memories I have from my five years at 2^nd Avenue Safeway here in Saskatoon. The store is long gone, but the good memories persist.

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Keep in mind that there is no shame in having mental health issues, just as there is no shame in asking for help when needed.

Donald B. Cheke – Saskatoon, SK