Buzz Box

In today’s blog post I am going to talk about the thoughts that occurred to me over a very short period of time (5 – 10 minutes) in the early morning hours of December 17, 2024. As I was thinking about the various things you will shortly read about, I decided that I would record my thoughts and when Denise got up and asked me how I slept, and what was on my mind, I could play the recording for her. Poor dear, barely gets a chance to open her eyes before hubby is ready to start deep philosophical discussions, or present her with things such as this, or any number of other things. In her typical style, that of being “on” the moment she gets up, Denise gave a thumbs up to proceed with playing the recording while she ate her porridge and made her tea. Below are my thoughts, cleaned up a bit for a readable presentation here. Keep in mind that I will discuss some additional things afterwards to sum up some of the outcomes and to discuss where the title for this blog post came from, and how it relates – or doesn’t. I wondered several times while putting this blog post together if I should post this chatter, but always decided to proceed thinking it might provide some things for you, the reader, to ponder. On the other hand, you might just think me crazy after all is said and done. 😊

Clock 7:08 – Created by Don Cheke

So, I was thinking that I’m a lot like Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. If you recall the series, you will know that Data can process many thoughts at the same time. In one episode he was listening to four or five complex classical music pieces, while having a conversation with someone else and performing other duties required by his job on the Enterprise. There are many other instances in the series where we see Data’s special processing abilities. Like Data, at any moment of the day I have many things on my mind. Although I can’t focus completely on all the things that are on my mind at the same time, I can go through them in rapid succession, kind of like a revolving carousel – or back and forth as my mind waffles. Although the time period I am going to discuss seems specific, and short, it is not much different than most times during the day, but for some reason, I thought it would be interesting to make note of the thoughts in this short span of time.

You are probably thinking at this point that I should get on with it already, since I have now started the third paragraph and given no clue as to what was on my mind. 😊

Okay, here we go….

1.

I’ve been reading a book series by J.D. Trafford. I just finished the second book last night. Although I have enjoyed the books, I was confused about halfway through the first book, and more so throughout the second. As I was reading, I kept questioning what the genre of the books were. I though it was supposed to be legal thriller, and the first book seemed like it was until there appeared to be some sci-fi or fantasy elements occurring. Fine, I thought, while reading the first book. When I started the second book, I noted that the main character had changed to someone else and the second book read more like a police procedural, with even more sci-fi or fantasy. Truth be told, it felt more like fantasy than sci-fi to me, just to be clearer. At this point I am thinking that I will have to revisit Amazon and see what genre the books are actually listed under. When I finished the second book last night, it was my understanding that there were three books in the series, but I could not find the third one in the store via my Kindle reader. I will need to sort this out by looking it up on Amazon via the browser on my desktop.

2.

Next is another entertainment thing that has come to mind. I’ve been watching The Doctor Blake Mysteries on Amazon Prime. Again, I am confused and pondering why this is so. Note that I will often watch a series more than once and this is not usually an issue because by the time I watch it the second time I have forgotten most of it from the first time, especially if it’s been a good stretch of time between viewings. This time my confusion comes from the belief that I’m sure I watched the first season somewhere along the line in the past and then there was no more. Just recently I noticed that the first season had disappeared from Prime, and I saw that seasons two, three, and four were available. I thought that was great, since I remember liking the first season well enough. As such, I started watching season two, and although it didn’t seem remotely familiar to me, it did not seem like it was a continuation from season one, but rather, almost like it was a prequel to season one, and some of the things I remembered from season one had not taken place yet. I took this as my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe just my poor memory, or the start of Alzheimer’s. As I started to watch season four my mind did a double take, since this one seems quite familiar, and I recognized many scenes, almost like some of it is what I watched in season one, but with a prominent character added that I don’t recall from season one. Now my head is really spinning, and I am doubting my sanity. I think that I will have to do some research to see if I have lost my mind or if there were some program tweaks made during the publishing of this series on Prime. Crikey, I hate feeling confused! LOL!

3.

I have mentioned that I belong to an online artist forum, and I have been participating knowing that something will likely go pear-shaped somewhere along the line, and, as sure as I am sitting here, it did so yesterday. I had posted an image of a drawing that I had made that didn’t go exactly as planned, but I posted it anyway because I thought it was good enough. In the introduction, I explained some of the things that I was thinking about while making this drawing. As I do whenever I post any of my work on this forum, I stated, “if you like it, let me know, if you don’t, just ignore it, but no criticism please.” After I posted it, somebody asked me why I didn’t want criticism, so I wrote a short bit about why I was opposed to criticism. The respondent had said that there is both negative criticism and constructive criticism, and I said that due to my sensitive nature either type feels like a slight to me, so I prefer none. The next thing I see, from another respondent later that day, is that they have actually downloaded my drawing and reposted it with revisions showing how they thought it should look. Although they said they liked much of it they thought what they provided was much better, or words to that effect. As you can imagine, I was flabbergasted that someone had the audacity to do something like this, when I made of point of stating that I didn’t want any criticism. Of course, feeling slighted, I start to ruminate about the ills of social media. How this is typical because there’s always somebody out there that’s seemingly brainless, has no idea what “social” is. I think, so what do you, meaning I, do now? Do you pack it all up and run away again, or do you be grown up and request that the post be removed, or just let it all go? So now, I think I am back to square one where I have to figure out how to find inspiration and some discourse on the internet without actually interacting with people. I know lots of people don’t interact with the world via the computer and social media, so why must I. My wife, Denise, doesn’t and she manages fine, but she is on the phone many times a day with my daughter or her friends, so she is interacting with others. At any rate, my thoughts continue to spiral and the inner rant continues on with me thinking I am an alien that just doesn’t fit and thinking how much I hate all these people that post in forums and use only an alias to identify themselves, which allows them to say whatever they want, while hiding behind their alias. The rant continues and my thoughts go to why I always use my real name when I sign up to a forum. For me, it indicates that I stand behind what I say, and I am less likely to say something that I shouldn’t.

4.

My brain then moves on, thinking about the telephone conversation I had with my brother, Dave, yesterday. Dave made me smile while discussing this and that because he mentioned a few things which indicated that he reads my blog posts. During the conversation he mentioned his shower thoughts that morning and then he mentioned some things he saw in Star Trek: TNG and then about our use of AI. I knew from what he was saying that he reads my blogs and that pleases me, knowing he, along with my younger brother, and mother, read them. I love that they are interested enough in me, to partake in my blogs. Sweet!

5.

Next, I am thinking about how I’m suffering from back pain once again and hating it, as you can imagine. I note that this time it is higher in my back, but still hurts like the dickens. It started a day or two before and Denise suggested using an over-the-counter pain medication made especially for back and muscle pain. I took her advise and have found that the painkillers work quite well, which is very nice. I can tell that things are still not healed when the pills start to wear off and more are required. I worry that the pills will stop being effective if taken too often, and that somehow the pills will delay healing. Denise assures me that my back will heal as usual over time, even if taking the pain killers. She knows lots, so I will just take her word for it and try not to give it too much attention.

6.

Also on my mind is my friend Syl. Syl developed a rare and aggressive cancer in the last few months and is now in Palliative Care at a local hospital. I’ve been visiting every couple of days, and I make a mental note that I saw him yesterday, so will go the day after today. Syl is on my mind many times throughout the day, and I am just so sad about his impending death. Obviously, I/we don’t want to lose him to that awful disease, but such is life, often seemingly cruel.

7.

I noted last night that I have started seeing 9:11 on the computer screen clock and on the microwave clock again. There had been a stretch of time recently where I wasn’t catching glimpses of it at the appropriate times, but all of the sudden in the last couple of days I’m seeing it again. Seeing it again kind of makes me feel like life is normal, or everything is as it should be. I know this sounds strange, but if you read my blog post on war, you will know how this detail in my life resonates with me.

Clock 7:18 – Created by Don Cheke

As you can see, I had a very busy 5 or 10 minutes, and that is just one small slice in one day. If I think about it, I believe I can state with almost certainty that most days are like this. How about for you?

It is at this point that I start to think about answers to the questions and the confusion I was having. During the day, I addressed some of the things, and below is what I discovered, or experienced.

1.

I visited Amazon.ca via my browser and discovered that the book series by J.D. Trafford was indeed listed under “legal thriller.” I could find no reference to the fantasy components within the books, so I just figured it is either true fantasy, or at some point in the series I will see that the happenings have some reality-based explanations. Perhaps I will find out in the next book of the series. There are supposed to be three books in the series to date and the third one was supposed to be released in October, so two or three months ago. While searching for the third book, I found two links that take the viewer to a page that says that the book is not available. Why has the third book mysteriously disappeared? Perhaps the author was going to reveal the truth about those fantasy things in the third book and those that are part of the seeming conspiracy are trying to ensure that I/we remain in the dark. Spooky! I tried to contact the author about it, but he has remained silent. Double spooky!

2.

As for The Doctor Blake Mysteries on Prime, I checked out the series history on IMDb and could find no indications that things were anything but linear in their release. I did note that there are supposed to be five seasons, but Prime is missing the fifth season, as well as the first season, as I mentioned earlier. I have decided that I will have to chalk my confusion up to brain slippage, meaning the sparks, or synapses, aren’t flying as well as they did when I was younger, or think they did. Hummm! 😊

3.

As for the artist forum fiasco, I decided to be grown up and ask the “I-know-better” poster to remove the image he had uploaded. I also reminded him that I had indicated that I did not want criticism. He actually apologized and removed the image. He said that he hadn’t read my comment carefully and always assumes that everyone who posts something wants the other artists to offer suggestions. I replied with thanks, meanwhile thinking only to myself, that no, most people don’t want that and that is why we see so many new members that never return. I have decided to stick with the forum, but I will try to be more of a lurker rather than an active respondent, or discussion starter. Time will tell how it will go. Truth be told, I will probably post something down the line, and we will be having this discussion again. LOL!

4. – 7.

Items 4 through 7 didn’t require any further attention that day, although I did think about Syl on and off, and my back pain that I am reminded of if I move around too much. The pain is, however, quite mild because of the painkillers. Gotta love science and the medicine men who discovered these handy-dandy compounds! 👍

I often think of my brain as a squirrel or hamster cage, or the hamster on the wheel, as it seems to go a million miles an hour – just spinning, spinning, spinning! You won’t know this, but even the “spinning, spinning, spinning” I just mentioned is from the lyrics of song by a psytrance musical group called Shpongle. You probably haven’t heard of them, but it is a group that Emma turned me on to a number of years ago that I just love. Weird, I know. Emma thinks I am a cool guy, since I love Shpongle. 👍😊💖

In case you were wondering, the group is Shpongle, the album is Are You Shpongled, and the song is Shpongle Falls.

The Lyrics, in part….

All these energies are moving this way

This is a circular vortex
Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning
Like this

Circular vortex
Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning…

Just to highlight that I am somewhat twisted, the title for the blog post comes from the TV episode called Cruel and Unusual (S5-E19) of the original Law and Order series. Within the episode Lenny and Mikey investigate a behavioral modification clinic that treats children with things like Autism. The main victim in this story is a boy with Autism that runs away from the clinic regularly. He is picked up by police at one point and dies while in their custody. As the story progresses it is determined that the police are not to blame, but rather the institute is, due to treatments used at the clinic. One of the “treatments,” we discover as the show progresses, is the use of what the main doctor calls a sensory deprivation device, but what everyone else at the clinic calls the “Buzz Box.” It is a modified hockey helmet that completely blocks the victim’s sight, hearing, and even smell, if I recall correctly. It also had a buzzer of sorts attached to it which creates white noise. As you can imagine, Lenny and Mikey are horrified by what they find and the doctor is arrested and brought to trial, as is the gist of all the Law and Order episodes. Note that I thought that it would be in poor taste to make the feature image for this blog post with Loaf wearing a buzz box helmet, so I have him standing by a deprivation tank, contemplating whether or not to give it a try, something we will look at shortly.

Why my mind went to that TV show, who can say, but it was reminiscent of how we all have so much noise in our heads and that we often want to find a way to quiet things up there. Of course, most of us learn that there are better ways to accomplish this, and they don’t include torture devised such as the deprivation helmet. I have probably mentioned this in one or more of my other blog posts, but I learned to meditate in the early years of my recovery. Although I haven’t specifically meditated for quite a while, I am still able to sit quietly and let my mind go still when I choose to do so. Always a worthwhile experience.

As I was thinking about the Buzz Box and sensory deprivation in general, I was reminded of sensory deprivation tanks that were somewhat popular in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and then again in the 1980’s when the science fiction movie, “Altered States” aired. I just noted that, according to ChatGPT, there was a resurgence in interest in 2010, which was driven by an ever-growing interest in wellness, mindfulness, and alternative therapies. Although I am sure that they will have taken on a whole different look in the modern era, in the past you could envision them as a large metal waterproof tank wide and long enough to accommodate a single human with their legs and arms extended fully. I believe that they were filled with salt water and a person could lay in there and float easily in the solution. The tank had a lid that was closed when the user was inside, and it would effectively block out all light and sound. The user would spend time inside seeing where their mind would take them, or go stark raving mad, if left for too long with no sensory input. 😊 I have often wondered what an experience in the tank would be like, but I have never taken steps to make it happen.

I hope that you found this blog post interesting and it sparked some thoughts about, well, who knows what.

Let me know if your mind is as active and as weird as mine.

By the way, I asked Denise how her mind was in its typical state after hearing my recording. She stated that her mind is always active too, but with many different things rattling around in her brain case, very different than those I shared, which, of course, makes perfect sense, since we are different people.

Donald B. Cheke – December 23, 2024