Today’s blog post is a real mishmash of varied things – a bit of art, a bit of stress relief, and a bit of wisdom. Over the last few days, I have had such a mixed bag of feelings. Ecstatic on the one hand with the arrival of spring and an overwhelming love for my dear sweet wife. On the other hand, a bit of crazy with having to deal with my shortcomings and defects of character, as we call them in Al-Anon. It’s really nothing knew. As I have mentioned countless times, I have this crazy need to look for or seek approval from others by the way of acknowledgement of my creative offerings, or those “atta-boys” that indicate that I have done good in other ways. I know where this crazy comes from, and I even know that it is now part of my make-up. I also know that I have the tools to identify when it is pushing hard at the seams of my psyche, and how to tame the beast. I also know that I am not alone in this, wishing that these defects of character would finally be removed. As I have discussed with many others in the program, we all seem to have something that we get tired of having to deal with, but alas, it is the cross we have to bear.
Something else that has caused me a bit of grief has to do with artificial intelligence, although it is only the latest thing that has added to the grief that I am about to describe. The other day, while I scrolled though Instagram looking for artistic inspiration, and having to be subjected to the countless “suggestions” to what I might be interested in, it dawned on me that one can no longer believe anything they see on the internet, specifically where any Tom, Dick, and Harry can post something. I try not to read captions, but sometimes it just can’t be helped when one lessens their diligent focus on only the pictures. At any rate, after reading that Japan will no longer allow tourists in their country starting in 2026, and that unsuited, or unprotected individuals were now strolling on the deck of the sunken Titanic, my heart just sank at the falsehoods. I couldn’t help but think that there really is no hope for humanity. 😒
Since I don’t like feeling crazy and confused, I decided that I needed something else to focus on, something more positive. On my computer desktop I have a folder with sixteen pictures in it. The pictures are of the indexes of two of Al-Anon’s daily reader books. As I flipped through the images, I noticed under the S’s the topic called “Slogans.” Yes, I thought, let’s focus on those instead!
The slogans of Al-Anon are short sayings that are meant to be used as self-help tools, in this case, something to help a person using them to refocus their current thoughts. This to help them through a torrent of intrusive thoughts or when something is overwhelming. Sometimes they are just gentle reminders that we do have the tools to get through most things in life. Sometimes they are lifesavers in a sea of anxiety. Below are a number of those slogans along with my interpretations and some examples where I find them handy.
Easy Does It
This is a reminder for me to pull back on the proverbial reins a bit. I find this most useful when I am out driving and find that there is too much traffic with plenty of crazy drivers. I might use this too when I am having to stop for every red light while making my way down 8th Street, a very busy street here in Saskatoon. Saying ‘easy does it’ reminds me that I am getting frustrated and that I need to pull back, psychologically speaking. That I need to put things in perspective and try to bring some calm to the situation. This, so I don’t escalate the situation by, say, flipping someone the bird, or cursing so much that I pop a blood vessel in my neck. 😊
First Things First
When feeling overwhelmed, it is often wise to prioritize. Using this slogan reminds us of that we have a choice, and that there is likely a logical way to proceed without becoming overwhelmed. For lack of a better example, I was thinking that it might be good to prioritize when it comes to taking tests. Instead of focusing on the upcoming test and running endless scenarios through one’s mind about how it will play out, focus on the studying instead, one study page at a time. I have been famous for doing something similar, trying to work out all eventualities of a situation before it even arrives. Through personal growth, I have learned that focusing on ‘first things first’ keeps me grounded and much saner.
How Important is It
Do I always have to be right, is what I think about when pondering this slogan. Do I have to be right about whether or not we (Denise and I) traveled to Hawaii in 2012 or 2013? Do I have to right about the name of an actor on a particular show we might be watching? There are so many examples of things where this has cropped up, and the answer is always a resounding no! The fact of the matter is that I have learned that I am wrong most of the time and the best policy is to let the other person speak and bypass the urge to correct them. Ignoring this wise advice, usually means that I end up eating crow, and really, I don’t like the taste of crow. 😊
Moral of the slogan is most things aren’t that important. Save the arguments, better yet, discussion, for times when it does matter. I am sure you can think of many examples in this regard. Like who’s turn it is to take out the trash. LOL! 👍😁
Just for Today
This slogan reminds me that I don’t have to do anything forever. It reminds me to think about the current situation and focus only on the task at hand.
Longtime members of Al-Anon often talk about how they use this this slogan and add something at the end that they will focus on as the topic for that specific day. You might hear them say, “Just for today, I will focus on compassion,” trying for that day to understand that the alcoholic is not choosing to be the horrid person they may be coming across as. Something like that….
I hope my mom doesn’t mind me using something she has talked about as an example. When dad still lived with us, and mom was fairly new to the program, she would wait by the window watching for him to show up after a bout of drinking. When he would finally arrive, she would go out to the car cursing under her breath or lecturing and do her best to get him in the house. A huge task as you can imagine. After some time in Al-Anon she realized that this was crazy behavior. What she did to show her growth and show some compassion was to try and avoid sitting by the window and getting into a worked-up state. She would still be awake and when she heard the car, she would go outside to see that he was “okay” and throw a blanket over him, letting him sleep it off in the car. I’d call that growth, and I am almost certain that she was practicing this slogan as best she could at the time, or something along that line.
1st art intermission.
The feature image, seen at the beginning, is called The Shaman’s Forest. It’s a painting that I created while listening to some great psytrance/world fusion music. In the second version below, I added a bird silhouette to add to the mystery. The forest appears to be on fire, but in reality, it is not. You must have faith and wisdom to enter the forest and when you do, it is filled with the brilliance of all that is good and sacred. It is a place of everlasting love and joy. Take the leap and enter the loving embrace. You won’t be disappointed!
The Shaman’s Forest with Bird – Created by Don Cheke
Keep an Open Mind
This is a good slogan to remind us that we don’t know everything. By keeping an open mind, we allow ourselves the opportunity to learn something new. Rigidity is the antithesis of open mindedness, and I try my best to live in what Buddhists call the middle way. That is living in the gray, far away from the extremes of all black or all white.
Keep Coming Back
This is something one hears at AA and Al-Anon meetings. I don’t typically think of this as a slogan, but I guess it could be. Keep coming back to meetings, keep working at recovery, keep moving forward, even if you don’t feel like it, or it feels too hard. Yep, wise words – keep trying – keep coming back, as you will benefit greatly by doing so.
Keep it Simple
I like how this slogan is a reminder to stop complicating everything. There is usually a simpler way to live, and to get through struggles.
Let Go and Let God
Although I don’t use the word God, I take this slogan to mean that I don’t need to fix everything. Sometimes, things that happen to others is due to their own issues or baggage and I know that I must step back and let their life sort itself out, which it usually does. Even if it doesn’t, their life is not my responsibility and they might be in the place they need to be at the time, part of their own journey and life lessons. As Denise and I often say, the world is unfolding as it should. Who are we to think we know better.
2nd art intermission.
A Long and Winding Road – Created by Don Cheke
This is just something I came up with while mucking around with squares. Of course, I borrowed the title from the Beatles, and after I finished the image, I saw that the background looked a lot like Norwegian Wood (another Beatles song title). 👍😊
I added another plainer version below. As I was developing this painting, I kept reflecting back on only the painted squares and thinking the simplicity was attractive in its own way. It’s too bad I didn’t create it in a way that would allow me the option to change the width of the space between the color square to see what difference that would make, but alas I did not. Which version do you prefer?
A Long and Winding Road Alternative – Created by Don Cheke
Let it Begin with Me
This is a good slogan, and one I have used from time to time when needed. I, like many people, love to complain about how things in the world are run. Perhaps, not even big things, but things that will not change, or get done, if someone doesn’t step forward. I am sure I have had at least a few opportunities to practice this, but one in particular was becoming a member of the condo board where Denise and I once lived for almost twenty years. We each took our turns on the board (more than once) when so many other residents simply would not.
This is also a great slogan to use when there is family stress for whatever reason. Sometime, someone in the family has to make the first move to get past hurt feelings that can lead to lifelong grudges or feuds. I have seen this in so many families and often think that so much of their pain could be bypassed by taking the first step and saying sorry for their part in the struggles. Whether or not it changes things, at least the one trying can know that they did their part, sometimes not a small or simple thing to do.
Listen and Learn
This is a great reminder slogan, to shut up long enough to hear more than one’s own voice. Reminding us that by doing so, we might just hear something meaningful and useful to our overall well being. While pondering this, I am reminded of people who seem to love their own voice, or those who talk and talk, and never let anyone else get a word in edgewise. Or those who might ask a question and don’t even wait two seconds for a response – already moving on with their endless diatribe, of who knows what.
I think that I have a pretty good handle on listening, and over the years I have worked hard at really listening and not spending time distracted thinking about what I will say when the other finishes talking. This is something that I found a need to learn while attending Al-Anon meetings where the format generally has people share one at a time, while working around the table. If I happen to be planning what I will say on the current topic when my turn comes, I might miss many pearls of wisdom if I haven’t been fully engaged in listening to the others before me.
I have a funny story about a time when I was a young alter boy. As is typical, I was at the front of the church during mass standing at attention as the priest gave the gospel reading, or something like that. I was obviously off in my own world, because after a while I noticed that I was still standing when the whole congregation had long since sat down. I felt much like an idiot, and I am always amused by how this has sat with me all these years. Moral of the story – pay attention so you don’t end up looking like an idiot. LOL!
Live and Let Live
For me, this slogan means to let people live their own lives, and for me to live my own. What does it matter if someone wants to live in a way that I might find questionable, especially if it really has no effect on me. It is really that simple. This one ties in well with, how important is it.
One Day at a Time
One Day at a Time is one of my favorite slogans, one which I use frequently. It reminds me that I can do something for one single day, or even one single hour, something that might make me cringe if I thought I had to do it for a longer stretch of time. It also reminds me that I don’t have to have my entire life planned out. Last, but not least, it reminds me to enjoy the here and now, to live in the moment and enjoy what the moment has to offer.
Have you ever had an approaching event that has caused feelings of anxiety, say having been asked to give a public address? Although I have had to do this only very rarely, I have used the slogan at these times to help me get settled, knowing that today was not the day of the address. It has helped me to just step back and live in the current day and stop the constant mindless predictions of how I might handle the actual event days later, inevitably thinking about nothing else. Basically, wasting energy and peace of mind.
3rd art intermission.
The Moons of Mysteria – Created by Don Cheke
Moons of Mysteria was the result of more experimentation. As I often do, I created a colorful background and then decided it needed something to give viewers more to ponder. At that point, I added the round corner squares and placed them somewhat randomly. I blended them into the background with the tools in my painting program. Still needing something more, I looked back into my archive of art projects and found a 3D model render of some stylized spheres. I decided to use the rendered image as an overlay and blended it into the painting. All in all, at that point I thought it provided a very interesting look. The spheres reminded me of moons. The final image also made me think that the spheres were some sort of monument situated on a moon in a different galaxy, or something like that. By now my mind was thinking back to a number of sci-fi books that I read in the past by a once favorite writer of mine, Jack McDevitt. I wanted to title my painting with moon/moons in it and so I looked at many of Jack’s book titles to help me come up with something. I though perhaps, The Moons of Polaris, or The Moons of Octavia, plus a few more using things from his titles. In the end I decided on The Moons of Mysteria, which I think I stumbled upon while looking down other avenues, but with the same destination in mind.
Principles Above Personalities
If you are a member of a group, you will undoubtedly find people that you just don’t like for any number of reasons. Some of these groups are at work, so you may have to interact with these people, unlike some groups where you could simple stop meeting with them. Even in an Al-Anon meeting there might be those that rub you the wrong way, and running away might not be the best thing to respond with. Using the slogan Principles Above Personalities allows the user to just listen to what the other is saying without seeing, or feeling, the undesirable part of the situation. I have had this happen and when I have been able to put the principles first, I have actually heard things from the other’s sharing that have been meaningful, and even helpful.
An interesting note about others I have not appreciated at various workplaces over the years was the fact that I always outlived their presence. In other words, they all eventually left at some point for any number of reasons, be it a transfer, or life changes on their part. It might have taken years on occasion, but they always passed through. This always gave me hope when the same kind of thing happened again in the same job, or new jobs in the future.
Progress Not Perfection
If you are like me, you really hate to make mistakes, but for whatever reason, you can’t maintain anything even remotely perfect 100% of the time. In reality, no human can, but those growing up in an alcoholic home often grow up thinking that if they can just be perfect then they will be loved and accepted by the alcoholic, and those affected by the alcoholic. Having this background, I have struggled my whole life trying to accept that I am not perfect, and that I don’t need to be, can’t be. One of the things that drives me batty is the fact that I can’t write a text or an email without typos. I can reread it ten times to ensure there are no mistakes and after sending it, I invariably see that I have made at least one typo. I have had to come to the point where I need to accept this as “my” normal or default, and just let it go. This slogan is a reminder that growth and effort often matter more than a flawless outcome.
Denise and I have had a chuckle over this perfection business over the years. Mostly we chuckle about the old story or tradition of Islamic artists, or architects, who always leave a flaw in their work, to acknowledge that only Allah is perfect. We don’t have to worry about deliberately leaving a flaw in our work, as we do fine with this all on our own, Flaws are virtually guaranteed for us. 😊
Think
I use this slogan on occasion when I need to remember that words can cause someone else pain, so it is always best to think about what I am saying before giving it voice. I am hyper-vigilant about this, so I am always careful. Still, there are times when I say something seemingly innocent, that I feel afterwards could be taken wrong. In cases like this, I stop immediately and inquire if I have inadvertently said something that was hurtful, or step back and rephrase it with an explanation. This usually keeps something innocent from becoming something it was never intended to be or do. That is the hope, anyway.
4th art intermission.
Geisha – Created by Don Cheke
Over the last week or so, my wife and I have been selling off her quilting materials. Her rapidly progressing Parkinson’s disease makes it near impossible to sew and quilt and seeing the large stash of fabric that she has is just an awful reminder of one more thing she has had to give up due to the disease.
The painting above is something I was working on, and while doing so a beautiful pattern appeared, which reminded me of some of my wife’s Asian fabric. In response to that, I blended in a free bamboo texture image that I had on hand. Lastly, I drew the Geisha symbol, styling it much like one I saw on the internet. I blended it in as well. I really like the outcome. I hope that you do too.
As I reviewed the image some more, I couldn’t help but think that the background looks a lot like a collection of vertical fabric bolts, as one would see in any number of fabric/quilting stores. I can attest to that since I have been to many of them over the years with Denise.
I hope that you enjoyed reading about the slogans and seeing the results of my continuing art journey. Perhaps you can let me know in the comments if you use slogans to help maintain your sanity. If so, what might they be.
P.S. I was thinking as I was wrapping up this blog post how I said, jokingly, at one time in another blog post, “nothing worth saying, can’t be said in two or three thousand words.” LOL! Well, it seems that I just can’t seem to make them shorter. 😊 At least there are intermissions! 👍😊
P.P.S. The business about Japan and tourists was not true. Apparently, Kyoto, Japan is blocking tourists from visiting certain alleyways in the Gian district. The issue stems from visitors chasing geishas, taking unsolicited photos, and even trespassing on private property despite clear warnings.
P.P.P.S. We know from experience that one can’t breathe underwater, so people walking unprotected on the deck of the sunken Titanic is probably false. Just saying! LOL!
Donald B. Cheke – April 21, 2025
Another great article.
Thanks Mike!