Humility

In this blog post I am going to look at the quality of being humble, or humility in its general sense. Although the inspiration for this blog post has its roots in a rant I had the other day, I think that if I dig deeper, I can find some good things to say about it.

Although there are many interpretations of humility and being humble, I am going to be talking, for the most part in the beginning, about being free, or as free as can be, from an overinflated view of one’s own importance. Later in the blog post I will focus more on recognizing one’s limitations and learning from others, and understanding that humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but rather thinking less about ourselves. In other words, being quiet enough to learn from others in a myriad of ways.

First the rant portion of the blog post.

Are there people or families in your location that seem to be constantly naming buildings, and other such things, after themselves? It is my understanding that those who donate the most money for a building project here in Saskatoon are given the naming rights for that facility or building that is being constructed, especially if it is one being constructed for the community. Perhaps it is the same in your town or city. Saskatoon has a population of around 350,000 people, and I can think of two or three families that appear to have the financial ability to ensure that their names are displayed on a regular basis. Just recently, I was out for a drive and noted that a new educational facility, consisting of several buildings, had its sod turning ceremony and the billboard posted on site listed one of these family names as the named campus where this new facility would be. The first thing that came to mind was the unbelievable “ego” of these people, another place named after them! Then I thought of the apparent baggage they must carry to always have a need to let the world around them know just how wonderful they are. As I fumed about this, I also pondered the fact that this same family owns more real estate than you can shake a stick at, and I happen to be renting a condo-style apartment from them where they increase my rent every year in mind boggling amounts. I suppose I should be happy that they give back to the community by making donations, but truthfully, I would rather have the money myself and have a reasonable rent to boot. There is so much more I could rant about in this regard, but suffice to say, that this is what sparked the blog post and the feature cartoon.

The rant portion of the blog post is now over – I think. 😊

I know that my rant has some roots in jealousy, and I can freely admit that, but I do think that there is some dark psychology behind this whole business of “name fame,” of which I would say can be categorized as baggage. I think you know what I mean by this, so I don’t think that I need to delve into that at this time.

One thing that I feel about seeing these family names in “lights,” so to speak, is that they overshadow, or obfuscate, all the other good works that take place in the community by many other folks who do so quietly, or anonymously – going about their daily lives making contributions great and small. I am reminded of the words of someone who talked about spiritual travellers and stated that, “the spiritual traveller is not afraid to be unknown,” as good a definition of humility if ever there was one.

I would still like to talk about this “naming” business a bit more, but with a much lower blood pressure having been achieved, and perhaps some wisdom.

In the feature cartoon we assume that Loaf has donated a substantial amount of money to the construction of the new local art gallery and has been afforded the right to name it. Little Loaf is aware that many people name structures after themselves and is wondering why his father did not do it too, say something like The Loaf Dubronovich Gallery of Arts. Of course, Loaf has a different view of this and chose a more community-oriented name. It is a simple name for sure, but it indicates that it is for the people of Saskatoon. I am reminded of the downtown auditorium in Saskatoon that was built in 1967 and was named the Centennial Auditorium to commemorate Canada’s 100th birthday. A proud name for a place in the community, to be sure! Step forward many years and after some renovations and some additions, it has now been renamed after a banking conglomerate, the holders of the gold, one could say. How sad is that!?

I don’t mind if buildings are named after people, living or deceased, as a dedication, as we see on schools, hospitals, and other types of facilities. Those named are being honored for their role or input into the community. I remember a time when the Catholic School Board built a new high school (1984), and they wanted to name it after the bishop at the time – Bishop James Mahoney High School. Because my mother was Bishop Mahoney’s personal secretary at the time, I was privy to the fact that Bishop Mahoney was not keen to have the school named after him. With much persuasion from his community at the office, the bishop acquiesced because it became clear to him that they wanted to honor him, and in a way, approving the choice and accepting the honor was a form of humility. That is being humble enough to accept the honor in a manner that is not attached to his ego. Bishop Mahoney died in 1995, so long ago now, but the school reminds us of his contributions to the city and the people within, to this day.

I don’t even mind when buildings have people’s names if it is named for a family business. Afterall, it is a private venture for oneself, or one’s family. Take for instance the Wrigley Building, a Chicago skyscraper named after the Wrigley family, famous for their chewing gum business.

On a similar note, I heard recently that you can actually buy a street name for yourself here in Saskatoon. In the past a street would get named for you or your family because you were being honored by the city, again, as a thank you for your service or contribution to the community. Now, all one needs is an ego and some money, and you can name it after yourself. I get that you can also buy a street name to honor a family member, and maybe that is more common than naming it for oneself, but it did strike me as bizarre. What also came to mind, was that the city could make more money selling names than it could coming up with them through conventional means that likely require an expense of some sort. True commercialism at work, for sure.

I guess I will never know how I would address the naming of a community building if I had the means to donate huge amounts of money to get that honor, but I sure hope that I would remember that it is best to be humble. Sure, I have my own baggage too, as you have read in many of my blog posts about my desire for the continual “atta-boys” I hope for, but I know that that is all about my own insecurity and should never be the motivation for anything I do. Not that it isn’t okay to get the atta-boys, but it should not be the driving force, the reason for doing something.

I have learned throughout my journey, from innumerable sources, that it is best to be humble; don’t show off; do good for the sake of doing good; give anonymously. As Thomas Merton said, “Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.”

Before I move on and look at other things that came to mind when pondering humility, I want to share what my wife Denise had to say when I asked her specifically to tell me about her thoughts on humility. She said:

To me, humility is being able to accept my humanness, to accept that I am no better or no less than anybody else, to accept that we are all equal, and we are all humanly flawed. Humility is being able to admit that to myself and to another human being, but most especially to myself. It also means to be able to forgive myself. Humility is tied in with forgiveness as far as I’m concerned, in the sense that when I recognize that I’m in error, rather than trying to be self-righteous and a know-it-all or think I’m better than others, I just need to recognize the error for what it is; that I can be humble. That doesn’t mean I’m less than anyone else, but rather, it means that I’m not better than anyone else. Take for instance the down-on-his-luck guy on the street corner who is living a different life than I am. Perhaps I am more blessed than he is, but I’m not necessarily better than he is. He has a life that is his and it is as important as mine. So, humility then, is accepting the humanness in ourselves and others. I don’t know if that’s what the dictionary would say humility is, but that’s what it is to me.

Isn’t it wonderful to see how Denise views this, how humility is tied with forgiveness and self-acceptance!?

Based on much that I have read, I have determined that being humble does not mean that you cannot be confident, but rather, I believe that being humble can foster the development of confidence. Knowing that you can admit when you err, means that you don’t have to fear being wrong, or making amends when required. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

Have you noticed that humble people tend to be more approachable as they don’t tend to have that aura of ego or pride that always gets in the way of genuine friendships or other types of relationships, be it personal or professional, as in a work setting? I can think of a number of instances where this has been the case. Those types of individuals almost wear a visible sign that reads “unapproachable,” or “approach at your own risk.”

Humble people recognize that there is always something more to learn, be it about themselves, or other things in life. Humble people know that they can learn from others too. In that view, I can say with certainty that I learned long ago that there will always be someone else that can do things better than me, be it in writing, in art, and all other things I can think of. It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t continue to try and do, or be, my best, but that I should acknowledge the fact there are these others from which I can learn a lot from.

I should note too that it is my opinion that humble people make the best leaders. I think this is true because they are well aware that to be human is to struggle, that life has many ups and downs, and that those in their vicinity are at various places on their respective journeys. As such, they can empathize and be flexible when dealing with others in their charge.

In an honest and humble manner, I must admit that I was not in my typical headspace while writing this blog post. Whether or not it is because of the imminent threat of winter, a time of year that I find depressing, I found that I didn’t quite know how to ensure I said all that I wanted to say, and how to conclude this article. I decided to share what I had written with the Bing AI and have it suggest a conclusion. As such, the next two paragraphs (italicized portions) are what it suggested, with a few minor tweaks from me. It had added two additional paragraphs but they seemed a bit preachy to me, and that is just not me. As you can imagine, I have mixed feelings about using the AI to do this, but its words mostly resonated with me, and said pretty much what I would have wanted to say, given the right head space. I even thought about reworking the conclusion a couple days later, but decided I like the idea of being able to discuss my feelings while reading this and admitting that I don’t always have the word I am looking for.

On reflection, it is clear to me that true humility is not about denying one’s achievements or contributions but about recognizing the value of others and the community as a whole. Naming buildings and streets after oneself can sometimes come off as self-serving, but when done with the right intentions, it can also be a way to honor and give back to the community. (In my mind, the jury is still out on the part of naming after oneself, but I can agree that I may be wrong or that it is my own baggage that makes this hard for me to accept.)

Ultimately, humility is all about balance. It’s about being proud of one’s contributions while also being aware that we are part of a larger community. It’s about doing good for the sake of doing good, not for the recognition it might bring. (Amen to that!)

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post. I hope that it has resonated with you in a loving and positive manner.

Donald B. Cheke – November 4, 2024