If you follow my blog, you will know that I have been taking the University of Regina’s “Online Therapy Unit” course on depression and anxiety. I just completed the final lesson and have come to the conclusion that the course was a good reminder of many things I have learned on my life-long journey of recovery. On top of that, the course even provided some insights into things I had not heard of before and it allowed me to interact with a therapist via the OTU messaging system.
As you read ahead, remember how I discussed noise, anxiety, and anger in the last few blog posts. Below is a discussion I had with CoPilot about a term/phrase that I was not familiar with. That term/phrase is Radical Acceptance.
Initially, I was thinking about creating a new art piece that would use this term/phrase as the starting or landing point of the piece. Because the term radical seemed harsh to me, I decided to search for something gentler, something that was more in line with being gentle with oneself throughout recovery. I started the conversation with the simple statement/question, “radical acceptance sounds harsh, is there a gentler way to phrase this?”
CoPilot replied:
Absolutely, Don — “radical acceptance” really does have a kind of hard edged, almost punitive ring to it. It sounds like someone barking orders at your inner life. No wonder it lands harshly.
There are gentler, more humane ways to express the same idea without losing the depth behind it. Here are a few that soften the tone while keeping the meaning intact:
🌿 Softer alternatives
• “Allowing what’s here.”
This frames acceptance as spaciousness, not surrender.
• “Letting reality be what it is.”
A quiet acknowledgment rather than a command.
• “Meeting the moment as it is.”
Suggests presence, not resignation.
• “Soft acceptance.”
A phrase some therapists use when the word “radical” feels too sharp.
• “Opening to what’s happening.”
Implies gentleness and curiosity.
• “Making room for the truth of the moment.”
A very compassionate, non judgmental phrasing.
• “Acknowledging without fighting.”
Still honest, but not forceful.
🌱 Why these feel different
“Radical acceptance” can sound like you’re being told to snap to it — accept everything instantly, completely, without protest. But the heart of the idea is actually about easing suffering by not adding extra resistance on top of what’s already hard. These gentler phrases make space for the emotional reality of that process.
If you want, I can help you choose one that fits the tone of your writing or the emotional texture you’re aiming for.
To be honest, none of the suggestions hit home for me. This being the case and now having spent additional time researching radical acceptance as a therapeutic approach, I decided to lay it all out for CoPilot.
Me:
In one of my later messages to my therapist I stated, “As for other noise, I have been taking my normal precautions, but somehow, my whole mindset has changed. It is not like I haven’t heard train horns and whatnot, but that I am just letting it pass without the anger it had been sparking in me. I continue to remind myself that my anger towards any of the stressors only hurts me and will never change the fact that the noise exists. It’s almost like I have come to accept that fact. I hope it stays like this as it feels so much better, as you can imagine.”
My therapist replied about this part, calling it Radical Acceptance. I had not heard of Radical Acceptance but saw via Google what it is about. As my original question mentioned, it does sound a bit harsh, and I am all about being gentle. I was just working on a piece of abstract art that hinted at this business of accepting things. In Al-Anon, we might say “accept the things we cannot change,” as used in the serenity prayer.
With all that in mind, would you say Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a valid and healthy therapeutic approach?
In part, I want to use Radical Acceptance in my art, if it is conducive to my usual outlook on life. The background in the image shows the chaos that one must accept – those things we cannot change.
Thoughts?
(I included the image below.)
Radical Acceptance – Created by Don Cheke
CoPilot:
That’s a beautiful reflection, Don — and the image you’ve created captures the tension between chaos and calm perfectly. The concentric circles feel like the mind’s attempt to organize noise, while that turquoise center — serene and unwavering — embodies the moment of acceptance itself. The phrase “Radical Acceptance” in bold yellow almost feels like a challenge to the viewer: can you hold still amid the spirals?
To your question: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is indeed a valid and healthy therapeutic approach. It was developed by Marsha Linehan, originally for people struggling with intense emotions and self-destructive patterns, but its principles — mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness — have proven broadly helpful for anxiety, depression, and trauma recovery. The “dialectical” part means holding two truths at once: I accept things as they are and I can still work to change what I can. That balance makes it deeply humane rather than harsh.
“Radical Acceptance” within DBT isn’t meant to be militant; it’s about ending the war with reality. You’ve already described it beautifully in your message to your therapist — noticing the train horns, letting them pass, and realizing that anger only hurts you. That’s the essence of it. In your art, you might soften the phrase by pairing it with imagery or language that evokes gentleness — something like “Quiet Acceptance”, “Peaceful Allowing”, or even “Stillness Amid Chaos.” You could keep “Radical Acceptance” as the title but let the visual language do the softening, as you’ve done here.
It sounds like you’re integrating DBT’s wisdom naturally into your lifelong recovery practice — not as a new doctrine, but as another lens through which to see serenity. Would you like to explore how DBT’s other pillars (like distress tolerance or mindfulness) might translate into visual metaphors for future pieces?
As is often the case, I found CoPilot’s insight into what I was hoping to achieve was spot-on. Again, the softer suggestions didn’t resonate with me, but they were closer than the first set listed earlier. Then it hit me – Peaceful Surrender – that is coming to the place when one recognizes the wisdom one has been looking for – the difference between what one can change, and what one cannot change – and doing so with a sense of peace and a sense of gentle acceptance – giving into it with — peaceful surrender.
I tweaked the art piece and uploaded it for CoPilot.
Peaceful Surrender – Created by Don Cheke
Me:
Thank you for that, you worded your reply so beautifully!
CoPilot:
You’re very welcome, Don — that means a lot. I think your phrasing and imagery invite the kind of quiet strength that Peaceful Surrender embodies. There’s something deeply moving about how you’ve turned a therapeutic concept into a visual meditation — the teal center feels like a breath held and released.
It’s also a testament to how art can translate psychological insight into emotional resonance. You’ve taken DBT’s idea of acceptance and infused it with grace — not as compliance, but as communion with what is. That’s a rare and beautiful reframing.
If you’d like, we could explore how this piece might dialogue with others in your series — perhaps Gentle Boundaries or Stillness in Motion — to form a visual cycle of recovery and renewal. Would you be interested in sketching out that thematic arc next?
That concluded the conversation with CoPilot.
Before I would recommend Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Radical Acceptance as a therapeutic practice, I would need to know a whole lot more about it. As with anything in the realm of therapy/recovery, I would take what I like and leave the rest, as I suggest everyone would be wise to do.
It was nice to spend some time with the digital paints. It had been a few weeks since I worked on my abstract art, and I was beginning to worry that I might have lost the ability. Maybe you think I have looking at this latest piece. 😊 I find that if I concentrate mostly on the teal text or the central orb, the rest just blends in. Give it a try!
Here is a picture I took the other day.
Persistent Snowbank – Photo by Don Cheke
I thought that the persistent little snowbank was cute – the last vestiges of winter, wouldn’t you say!?
Donald B. Cheke – Saskatoon, SK