A Single Grain of Sand

Are you ever troubled by your own smallness when compared to the over 8 billion other people that exist on Earth? I know that if I stop to think too much about this that I am, indeed, deeply troubled. In this blog post, I am going to look closely at my smallness and talk about how I live and deal with it. It is my hope that this topic is not too depressing and that some positives can be seen in and around what pops up during the discussion.

Before we delve too deeply, I should mention that one day I was contemplating just how small I am, or feel, in the world and I decided to ask the Bing AI four questions to help set the stage for the upcoming discussion.

Me:
What is the current population of the earth?

Bing Copilot:
The current world population stands at 8,112,687,763 as of June 1, 2024, according to the most recent United Nations estimates. It’s fascinating to think about how our global population has grown from an estimated 2.5 billion people in 1950 to over 8 billion today!

Me:
What is the world current birth rate compared to the world death rate?

Bing Copilot:
As of 2023, the crude death rate for the world is 7.51 deaths per thousand population, while the crude birth rate is 16.56 births per thousand. This means that there are more births than deaths, resulting in a net increase in the world population. In 2023, approximately 134 million babies were born, and 61 million people died, leading to a net increase of 73 million people. Keep in mind that these rates can vary over time and across different regions. (Don – There are 1000 thousands in a million, in case you were wondering.)

Me:
How many people can the earth sustain?

Bing Copilot:
The Earth’s carrying capacity – the maximum population size it can sustain indefinitely – has been a topic of debate for centuries. Estimates vary widely, ranging from 500 million to over 1 trillion people. However, most experts believe that Earth can realistically support around 10 billion people. Beyond this point, resource consumption and quality of life become critical factors. If everyone lived like an average middle-class American, the carrying capacity might be around 2 billion, but sustainable practices could potentially accommodate more. Ultimately, it’s essential to balance our needs with responsible resource use for a healthy future for all. (Don – There are 1000 billions in a trillion, in case you were wondering.)

Me:
With the world population nearing 10 billion people, should I as a citizen be worried about an apocalypse of some sort?

Bing Copilot:
As a concerned citizen, it’s natural to wonder about the future, especially with a growing global population. While I can’t predict specific apocalyptic events, I can offer some insights: (Don – I think he means things that will alleviate possible apocalyptic troubles.)

  • Resource Management: Ensuring sustainable resource use is crucial. If we manage resources wisely (food, water, energy, etc.), we can mitigate risks.
  • Climate Change: Addressing climate change is vital. Collective efforts to reduce emissions and adapt to changing conditions are essential.
  • Technology and Innovation: Advances in science and technology can help us overcome challenges. Solutions may arise from unexpected places.
  • Community Resilience: Building strong communities fosters resilience. Cooperation during crises is key.
  • Hope and Action: Rather than fear, focus on positive action. Engage in environmental stewardship and support policies that promote sustainability.

Remember, while uncertainties exist, humanity has faced and overcome many challenges throughout history. Let’s work together to create a better future!

My first thought was that this is where living in today makes sense. It doesn’t help us to worry and panic that the end of life, or the world as we know it is near, but we can certainly do our small part to support positive change and global responsibility. How that looks will certainly be different for every person. The point of the questions was to see just how many people there are, when compared to the one, me in this case, and secondarily to see if this was cause for concern.

This thinking about my smallness, or my seeming insignificance, which seems synonymous in this case, came to mind while I was scrolling through Pinterest looking at various types of art and other innovations. It dawned on me that there are, possibly, billions of people all vying to get noticed on any number of social media platforms like this. It also dawned on me just how many people were obviously more gifted than me, when I compared their work with mine. I found these thoughts rather depressing and it gave me pause to contemplate my place and my value in this time and place. As you have read in many of my other blog posts, I struggle with the desire to get noticed and to receive “atta-boys” for the things I produce. As much as I know this is not healthy, and is a huge part of my personal baggage, it still rattles around in my brain and I just have to acknowledge it, remind myself why it is happening, and then take steps to change the tape, as that saying goes. Nonetheless, looking for “atta-boys” or not looking for them as the case may be, there is no denying that what I/we do, what I/we produce in the way of art or work product, or other such things, has a limited reach for the most part. That is true for most of us anyway, and that is limited to the very few who are in our immediate vicinity.

A Single Grain of Sand – Created by Don Cheke

The artwork I created for the feature image of this blog post, seen again here, shows just that. It illustrates a small section of sand on a beach. I/you are the red grain, and the four nearby ones, marked with red sparks, are the ones that I/you influence or interact with. Sure, there are likely to be more than four that I/you connect with, but the point, I believe, is made with the small sample. Realistically, only a few of us get noticed globally, and only a few of those get noticed for all time, well for a few centuries anyway. Will anyone five thousand years from now remember even someone as famous as Plato or Einstein? Maybe, but they most definitely will not remember me.

So, is it important to influence the masses and be remembered for all time? I would say that it is not. I believe that we are all here to live the best life we can and make our time here count for something. Perhaps it is something as simple, although very worthy, as being a good parent, spouse or partner. Perhaps it is something as simple as being a good worker and doing our part to make the small corner of the world where we live a better place for all those in our community. Yes, I know that there are a lot of people that do not think like this and make great strides in leaving a wake of destruction behind them, but I truly believe that there are many more good and healthy minded people than there are bad ones. I also believe that living a good life provides the happiest life, so it is always worth the effort to live that way.

Another thing I realized as I scrolled through Pinterest is that as an artist, a writer, anything really, there will always be someone better than me/you. This is very humbling to be sure but should not, in and of itself, be reason enough not to try whatever interests you. This is due to the fact that although we do not have a worldwide reach, we still influence those in our own small circle. We may create something or do something wonderful that affects only one other person, but that effect could be something profound and changes that person’s life for ever, on some level. In my blog post article on reading and writing I had mentioned the tale of a teacher who took the effort to read and share my short story and came back with positive results that she shared with me. As I mentioned, I think that this had a huge impact on me becoming a writer. I know of many other instances where this has been the case for me and at other times where it has been the case for my wife. My wife, Denise, was a schoolteacher and principal for her life’s career. We still run into former students and parents of those students who stop and share the great memories of the loving and kind teacher Denise was when they were at school. That is always a very good reminder of how one can be influencing others on a daily basis and how long memories can last for those that cross our paths along the journey. As I always say, it certainly feels better when those memories are positive and leave a beautiful mark. These actions of ours may not matter to someone on the other side of the world, but they matter here and have the potential to teach others and those, others still. Perhaps, like the pandemic showed, things can have a world reach even if they start small with no real intention of becoming a worldwide concern.

I have been fortunate to have been able to influence others in a positive way, just by being myself. I have always been approachable and empathetic. I have often had people approach me just to have me provide a listening, non-judgmental, ear. I always find this easy, since I have had plenty of suffering in my life and I can identify with what they might be feeling, perhaps not exactly, but certainly enough to know that suffering can be a heavy burden. I don’t try to fix or offer advice; I mostly listen and will offer insights from my own experience if it is appropriate and called for. I learned long ago that most people aren’t really looking for a fix, but rather someone to hear them, and perhaps acknowledge that they are still acceptable or loveable.

Here is a bit of a funny story that is somewhat tied to the main topic, if only loosely. There was a time at the glass door company where I worked when the owner and other management were trying to figure out what made me tick. They continually told me that I was so unlike any of the other engineers they had hired over the years and that they wished that they could find a way to quantify what made me who I am and use it when they interviewed and hired other workers. I used to laugh to myself when this came up and I would think, “sure, just find someone who grew up in an alcoholic home with a parent (pre-Al-Anon) that wielded the wooden spoon regularly and provided little affection. Then be sure to instill in them a sense of insecurity and teach them that they always need to try as hard as they can to seek approval and love, while ensuring that they know they are always falling short. Then you get someone like me who tries to win that approval by working themselves crazy just to get that love and approval in the form of “atta-boys,” in all the various flavors that they come.” Management at the glass door company went so far as to administer all kinds of aptitude and personality tests on me to try and figure out what questions to ask on new-hire interview questionnaires. To be honest, I don’t think they ever came up with a foolproof method to find another me, at least they never told me of any eventual outcome that proved it to be so. 😊 Other engineers that came after me were certainly not copies of me, so I assumed they failed at figuring it all out. Just as a side note, I remember one of the tests they used, for which I don’t recall the name, was one of the stupidest personality tests I had ever taken. It was written to confuse the reader and used many double negative statements to try and ensure that those taking the tests couldn’t predict what the “right” answers might be. By the end of that one, I thought it would be the most inaccurate test I had ever done. It certainly wasn’t the Myers-Briggs personality test, or a variant of the Enneagram or other such popular tests which are kind of fun to do. I also remember one of the people who was applying for an engineering position refusing to take the test, so he didn’t stand a chance of getting a job at the plant. I was actually impressed that he refused to take the test, knowing he would likely get bypassed because of it. If I had been the sole interviewer, I would have talked about the refusal and perhaps I would have found out something remarkable about him that would have made me want to hire him. But as usual, I did not get the final say on who was hired for the engineering department. To digress a bit further, I was part of the interviewing committee for other engineering positions. On no less than two occasions, the company hired the person I suggested they not hire, for reasons relating to CAD skill level. One of them didn’t even know how to make a CAD drawing, so once hired, I had to take time to teach him that, all the while thinking that this was crazy. Another guy I suggested we bypass was hired and on more that one occasion others would complain about him sleeping at his desk. I saw this myself during one of my visits to the plant. Nope, they certainly weren’t following any kind of criteria established by studying me. LOL!

At this point you may be wondering what I do to ensure that my perceived smallness, or insignificance doesn’t weigh me down and begin to take a toll on me and start me down the path toward my contributions being pointless. Well, for the most part, when my thinking heads down that path of negativity, I basically take note of what is happening and try and deduce why it is occurring. In Al-Anon, I learned that quite often it will be because I am hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT) and the ability to stay positive wanes. Taking caring of these basic needs is often all it takes to over come the troubles. Other times, I use a slogan to encourage my thinking to go in a different direction. Two of my favorite slogans are, “One Day at a Time” and “Stop!” One Day at a Time reminds me that I don’t have to solve all problems today nor do I have to spend time worrying about what might come tomorrow or the next day, or quite possibly might never come. It also helps me realize that I can manage whatever I am dealing with for just today, or for the next few minutes, or hours, if I need to make the time frame even tighter due to the stress it is causing. I use “Stop” when I see my thinking heading down a path that is based on old self-hate tapes that want to remind me of all the mistakes I have ever made and confirm that I am less than worthy. When I recognize the tape has started to play, I just gently say to myself, “Stop,” as many times as necessary to end the relentless and tiresome messages from the past. I find that this actually works wonders. I don’t even need to counter it with additional self-talk since I have been through this so many times before. So, when I need to, just saying and repeating stop is enough to break the cycle, or to stop the tape as I indicated.

Here is another funny story that I am not sure applies, but I think it is showing another tool that helps get past issues, not necessarily about being small and seemingly insignificant. By the end of most days both Denise and I are tired. After supper is the worst when we are both digesting, and we are ready to call it a day. By this time, we can bicker easily about the most mundane things if we allowed ourselves to. At one point we suggested to each other that we stop talking to each other after 7:00 pm to avoid possible issues. We joke sometimes about how it is after 7 and we should not be talking to one another, for neither is in the right space. That usually snaps us out of the rising state of discord, and we are reminded to take a step back, or just go to our separate rooms and spend time alone in ways that bring us calm. On rare occasions we joke that we should change the time from 7:00 pm to noon, if it is a day when we have found ourselves bickering about some nonsense or other, and yes, it is usually something of little importance, so something that hardly matters or needs further discussion or analyzing.

To sum up, I would like to say that although we, you or I as individuals, are a small thing in the grand scale of the world, we all matter, at least on that small and intimate scale – along with those in our small circle. What we do makes a difference too, again on the small and intimate scale. But all of us individuals acting in a healthy manner in our small-scale settings also adds up to a larger influence in the greater world around us. This reminds me of something I read long ago about a phenomenon, or effect, called “the hundredth monkey.” Perhaps an analogy, or story, might explain it best. In a small forest lived a group of monkeys. One of the monkeys learned to use a hollow stick to drink milk from a coconut. The next thing you know, other monkeys have learned to do it too. As the hundredth monkey learned the skill, all of monkeydom, worldwide, gained this ability as part of the collective consciousness., without having physically interacted with the original troop. Although this theory or phenomenon has been discredited by researchers, I like to think that there is some truth to it and that if we continue to teach and be wholesome and responsible in our small groups, the rest of the world will follow suit when enough of us have learned this truly wonderous way to live. Perhaps you will be the one hundredth monkey and that will make all the difference in the world. 👍😊

The moral of the story is – none of us is small and insignificant!

Donald B. Cheke – July 8, 2024

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