Are You Man Enough?

Before I get into the meat of this blog post, I want to introduce my new cartoon character, now known as Loaf Dubronovich.

Earlier this year I wrote a book called Reflections. It was, for all intents and purposes, my memoirs. Part of the reasoning behind it was to leave a legacy behind me for my daughter and granddaughters. As I wrote the book, I decided to make a digital collection of my collected works, 40 years of personal writing and art. I have a video on my YouTube channel about that if you are interested. At any rate, and keeping with this tradition, I have started to compile book 1 of my cartoons – something like a Herman (Jim Unger) anthology, only digital. So far, I have about twenty or so cartoons, with many more ideas still to be put to paper.

Loaf Dubronovich Book 1 Cover – Created by Don Cheke

This is from the intro.

Welcome to my first book of comics.

This collection has come about due to my desire to be a cartoonist from as far back as I can remember. In February 2024 I started a new website blog called One Man’s Meanderings. As I began to produce my weekly blog posts I started to see a need for images, other than my traditional CAD renders and photographs. As such, I started to use a bit of self-made clip art when required. After all, a blog post needs images to aid with the presentation, at least that is my thinking. After just a couple clip art creations, it soon became obvious to me that I could turn this aspect of my creativity into a new “career,” that of a cartoonist. So, it began….

One unique aspect of the cartoons I draw is the use of my alter ego as the main character, and the use of clones for multi-character spreads. So far, I have been having a blast producing the comics. I have even come to love myself a bit more, due to the fact that I have been able to laugh at my own flaws, which often feature in the comics, and know that I am okay, just as I am. I hope that you enjoy the comics!

By the way, Loaf Dubronovich is one of the funny names I have come up with over the years. I thought it would be ideal for my alter ego.

Don Cheke, Saskatoon 2024
All comics & characters by Donald B. Cheke © 2024

On with the blog post….

Although the title of this blog post is “Are You Man Enough,” I could have tacked on “Or Woman Enough,” as the case may be, since what I am about to discuss affects both sexes equally, maybe with some slightly differing messages we receive, like blue for boys and pink for girls.

Recently, I watched the latest James Bond movie, and as is typical after watching one of these flicks, I went to my wife, Denise, and said, “I’m sure not a real man!” Not sexy enough, not fit enough, not mysterious enough, and so forth. Although this was in jest, it made me think of all the ways society pressures us into being what is considered true manliness, and if we don’t measure up then something is wrong with us. If we don’t fit the perceived role we often live with doubt, especially if one hasn’t taken time to grow and gain wisdom.

Speaking of James Bond…
Do you have a favorite James Bond actor? Mine is Roger Moore with Pierce Brosnan a close second.
Do you have a favorite James Bond song? Mine is the Moonraker theme. A close second is the one sung by Carly Simon, Nobody Does it Better.
Do you have a favorite James Bond movie? Mine is Moonraker, with The Spy Who Loved Me a close second.
Do you have a favorite Bond girl(s)? Mine is Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova in The Spy Who Loved Me and Jane Seymour as Solitaire in Live and Let Die.

For the sake of making writing this blog easier, just assume that when I say man, I mean man or woman, he, or she, etc., as we all, in my opinion, suffer similar issues.

Manliness is often defined by one’s sexual preference or orientation, and although I have never questioned my orientation, I know many other men that prefer same sex partners and they are every bit a man as me or any other heterosexual men I know. Obviously, sexual orientation cannot really be a factor in determining someone’s manliness. That was easy! Just so there’s no mistake, I really like girls, a lot! 😊 Well, nice ones anyway. LOL!

In my home, I have always been the one that has done most of the cooking. I love to eat, so doing the cooking ensures that I get fed what I like, when I like. I have always loved cooking, and from an early age it came naturally. When I was young and Mom was away at work, I would make pizza for my brothers and me. In true artistic form, I would occasionally make the pizza in a shape like the map of Canada or something like that. My older brother thought I was weird, but nonetheless, he always ate the pizza. Writing this makes me think back to the Kraft pizza boxed mix one could buy. It had everything you needed for a cheese pizza. Of course, I would add meat and other non-veggie things. I wonder if they still make those pizza kits. As I got older, I watched many cooking shows, like Wok with Yan, and a couple others whose names currently escape me. My wife, Denise, on the other hand, never liked cooking. She could do it in a pinch if she had to and did so for a stretch of time when my work was insanely busy. Denise’s idea of supper, when a young single, was popcorn. She still has that sometimes when I want a break from cooking. So, here is another point where I don’t match the stereotype of the man coming home from work expecting his supper on the table, the little missus having it out just as he comes through the door. Just for laughs, once in a while I tease Denise that she should prepare my supper in advance if she is going to be out at supper time, or away at a conference, like when she was still teaching. I suggested that in lieu of that, she could ensure that there were always Hungry Man Dinners in the freezer, so I wouldn’t starve. Funnily enough, one day she came home with a frozen dinner, a true to life Hungry Man Dinner! It was the fried chicken one! She said she had a heck of a time finding it, and we had a great laugh. Yep, I ate it, but it wasn’t near as good as the fried chicken I make. 😊 What’s this, #2 in the “obviously not a factor in determining one’s manliness,” realm of things.

In my married family life, I was a stay-at-home dad for several years, while our daughter was a wee one. I enjoyed this time immensely. As a homemaker, I did everything that it entailed. Cooking, as mentioned above, childcare in all its forms, laundry, shopping, parent helper at preschool when Emma was the right age, and so much more. Denise, on the other hand, preferred her career and never envisioned herself as a homemaker. To be clear, Denise is the sweetest and kindest woman you can imagine and is female in every way (hubba, hubba, – male humor 👍😊), so the desire or the delighting in these stereotypical roles is again, not a factor in determining manliness. While a stay-at-home dad, I encountered a couple of dipsticks who had their wires crossed as to what constitutes a man. One asked me once if I was still retired, meaning that he didn’t think being a stay-at-home dad was a valid male thing to do. Another said at one time, “Surely, you must have a job by now,” again, indicating that he didn’t think much about my stay-at-home status. Yep, I still harbor resentment towards them, and one of them died long ago. Just saying!

For a time, Denise, Emma, and I went to church on Sundays as a family. I liked the priest at the time and so I enjoyed going to hear his sermons. It was also a time when Denise and I participated in the church community as leaders in compulsory marriage prep classes for newly engaged folks who wanted to marry in the Catholic church. That was great fun, as Denise and I brought our caring, our compassion, and our great humor with us. The two things I hated every year while attending church were the masses on or around Mother’s Day, and on or around Father’s Day. Of course, on Mother’s Day, the priest would give a sweet and loving sermon about the wonders of mothers. The church committee would even give a rose to all the women on the way out after mass. Then Father’s Day would come around, and the priest’s sermon would send me over the edge. It was always a lecture on what men weren’t doing right, that men should be more like the mothers that were mentioned at the mass dedicated to them. On the way out I would invariably say to Denise, “Wasn’t that special (@#$%&!),” meaning exactly the opposite. Denise always reassured me that I was not a typical man, so the priest wasn’t talking to me, per se. I would always think to myself, that the next time I was at a mass and the lecture came, that I would get up in the middle of the sermon and make a ruckus on the way out. Of course, I never did. Hey, did you know that the line of symbols used to replace course language, like I used above, is called grawlix. I didn’t but learned that when I looked up a typical string of characters for use here. @#$%&! So now you know!

Although Denise and I have talked about such things many times during our time together, as I was writing this blog post, I stopped and took time to ask Denise if she had any thoughts on societal expectations in this realm. She gave me a great response that really made sense to me and that I want to share now. She said that initially she did not have any clearly defined expectations as to what a man’s role or a woman’s role was. She said that she grew up in a very dysfunctional home that required her to take on all the roles, including ensuring her sick alcoholic/drug addicted mother was tended to, raising her brother, managing what little money they had as a family, plus a whole lot more. She basically grew up forced to manage or perish. She chose to manage. When she married her starter husband he came with baggage of his own and from a family who had clear definitions of the man’s role and the woman’s role. They were, in part the stereotypical ones, but also the ugly ones where the wife acts as the punching bag. She hated those ugly roles and left that marriage when the first punch came. There was no way she was going to live like that. She then said that when she married me, she discovered that there were no expectations, especially not role specific ones. She then said that living like this was/is such freedom. She also said, teasingly, if he’s going to cook for me then I was going to happily let him. She added, as long as it tastes good. 😊 To wrap up, she said that as she has grown and experienced these freedoms, she never really thinks about it in that way. That it’s more about; is that person caring, or loving, or honest, not so much whether they meet some ridiculous expectation from the dinosaur era.

Just to throw a wrench into the mix, note that one thing that is definitely not manly, is male perms. 😊 I remember when my dad came to visit one day in the 1980’s sporting a new perm. Gosh, he looked ridiculous! I remember too, an older man I used to work with, Peter if I recall correctly, did the same. His hairdo didn’t look any better on him than it did on my dad. I popped off the cartoon below while thinking about this memory. Perhaps you have and love your perm. I was just teasing, so take my joke with a grain of salt. Is that how that saying goes!?

Man Perm – Created by Don Cheke

Back in the early 2000’s I had the great idea of producing a book called The Man Book. Over the years, when I explained some manly things to Denise, I would say that it is written in The Man Book, I might even mention a page number and paragraph number. The idea for The Man Book was to have men from around the world email thoughts and ideas about being a man, either something serious or something funny, really anything they learned from their fathers, grandfathers, or other such relatives, or even society. Really anything that became part of their thinking, or belief system. I thought that I would put in the small print that by emailing me, they were consenting to using their submission, and I could use what they sent in the book, without compensation and so forth, eliminating any copyright issues. As editor, I would take the material I thought was worthy of print and organize it as I saw fit.

I had so much fun working on The Man Book idea and laughing my guts out when coming up with some humorous mock entries. I also came up with a Victorian sounding name for the book editor, seen in the render below. Heferus Laird. Isn’t that a great name!

The Man Book – Concept and Render by Don Cheke

The Man Book – Example Entries- Concept and Render by Don Cheke

Obviously, I never pursued making The Man Book idea, as I never had the time nor the world connections to make it a reality. I was, and still am, much too introverted to tackle it. I still think it would be a best seller, though!

Just for fun, let’s round things off with one more cartoon. It certainly goes well with being man enough. I know what my superpowers are. What are yours?

Superheroes – Created by Don Cheke

I guess the moral of this blog is to be who you are! We are all just people, and are allowed to be the person we are, whether society gives us their blessing or not. Roles are a thing of the past and should remain there, with the exception of in cartoons. 👍

One more cartoon to end the blog post. Note that Loaf will now play both man and woman roles. Although she, no he, no she, might still wear pink. 😊 There is still much humor to be had with roles, so there will always be that!

Hearing Aids – Created by Don Cheke

P.S. The Hawaiian shirt is in honor of my friend Ben. He knows who he is and why the shirt is special to me.

Donald B. Cheke – April 29, 2024