From as far back as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a grandpa at some point in my life, even before I was married and had a child of my own. My thinking on this stems from an early belief that if there was a higher power, it would be a grandfather figure that loved unconditionally. I could be angry, hurt, frustrated, and swearing a blue streak, and this grandfather figure would continue to love me no matter what. How I settled on this belief back then can only be explained by wishful or idealized thinking because although I had two grandfathers, they had no real influence or impact on me as a person, and certainly didn’t fill me with a sense of wonder and awe. One grandfather died before I was born and the other was far removed from my world, and died when I was ten years old. I do remember hearing that the grandfather on my mother’s side was a nasty and abusive person, so I am glad that I never met or interacted with him. The grandfather on my father’s side, I only remember through pictures in some old family albums, but he ceased to be part of our lives when my dad left my mom, and we never made any further trips out of town to visit him and his alcoholic wife. As I said, he died when I was 10, so there wouldn’t have been much opportunity to interact since he was ultimately gone forever. Based on all of this, you can see why I would choose or desire to base a grandfather figure on the idealized version and if I were to be one, it would be based on that. I guess I always saw myself as an old soul, so the desire to be old and to be a grandfather was just there, waiting for the opportunity to come.
Before we move specifically into grandchildren and grandparenting, I should mention that I loved/love being a father. My beautiful daughter, Emma, called me papa when she was young – still does. I was lucky enough to be a stay-at-home dad for several years, so Emma and I developed a very special bond that has rewarded us for all our years so far with a great relationship. I have always seen what a remarkably wise woman my daughter has become, and although I always assumed she would be a good mother if she ever chose to have children, I was just blown away when she did have her children, my grandchildren. She was and continues to be the most loving and kind mother one could imagine. She displays all the things I had secretly hoped she would, based on how I raised her, things such as the ability to talk openly about feelings, dealing with all of life’s ins and outs in a healthy manner. She shares true and accurate information about sexuality and everything else that comes up in discussions with her children, so that they will grow up with much less baggage than so many others do. She is definitely raising some free-thinking children and teaching them well about self-love and respect for others. I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Did you ever have Norman Rockwell visions about how things would be in life? Although I learned long ago that there is no such thing as normal and it is best not to have expectations, there was always a part of me that thought certain things would be as I expected. Well, as I moved through life, I came to see that life never presented itself in any way, shape or form as expected. I am thinking of things like teaching my child to ride her bike or other things like how to operate the washing machine. Well, in the case of learning to ride the bike, my wife did that, and for the case of the washing machine, when my daughter decided in her teens that I didn’t wash her clothes right, she had her friend come over to show her how to do it all. Oh, my crushed heart! Imagine that! 😊

Freedom From Want” by Norman Rockwell, 1942. Photo: Wikimedia Commons (Public domain).
I call it the “Picture Perfect World”
My first granddaughter, Olivia Celeste, came to us on April 30, 2014. She was all we hoped for and expected, and I got to see her not long after she was born by cesarean section. Because my wife and I had adopted our daughter, we had not been privy up to this point in our lives to experience this miracle of birth, of one so close and dear to us. Olivia was perfect in every way, ten fingers and ten toes, as they often say. One of the things I noted as soon as I saw Olivia was just how frail she was, as all babies are, and I realized just how much damage could be done to a child, if a child is born into a situation where the parent(s) are incapable for any of the myriad reasons we have all seen through society, e.g. alcoholism or other addiction, mental illness, poverty, and so much more.
My second granddaughter came along three years later, on July 6, 2017. Madelyn Lorraine arrived in the typical manner, and like her sister, she was born just perfectly, with all the expected parts in the right place. Another miracle, to be sure. I couldn’t believe that we could be so blessed to have another perfect baby join our small clan.
Being a grandparent is even better than I had expected. I like how, from the start, I can just watch as they grow. Although I enjoyed experiencing and watching all the changes with my daughter over the years, it was always with the challenges that responsibility brings, in essence, ensuring all the right lessons are learned, really, all the responsibilities associated with raising her. With my grandchildren, I get to see their mother doing the raising and the teaching, while I am content to watch from the sidelines and see all the changes in a new light, kind of like knowing what is coming but without the challenges of parenting. It is a remarkable thing, this grandparenting, and I recommend it fully, if that is in the cards for one’s life experiences.
Both of my granddaughters have speech and academic learning challenges, but their parents are providing all the additional care and resources that are required. The older one may be on the autism spectrum, but she is still too young to acquire a full diagnosis. Even though this is the case, I can see clearly that they are whip smart cognitively speaking. I can see that this is so by how they participate in activities, and I have no doubt that they will most assuredly meet all the challenges that face them head-on and do so gloriously with the help of their loving parents, and of course, their grandparents.
Pictured below is an image of my daughter when she was in her teens. At one point I created this poster about facing those challenges head on and used it in a 3D render scene project I had worked on. Emma has set the stage for her children’s success by her very own modeled behavior.

Emma in the Teen Years. Photo and Photo Editing by Don Cheke
I have a quiet loving relationship with my grandchildren and I think they like having me around when we dine out together or spend time together as a family. Denise, my wife, their “Nana,” has the most wonderful relationship with the girls. It is amazing to watch and see just how much they love their Nana. They spend oodles of time together, along with Emma, going out on errands, and making trip after trip to the confectionery for Slurpee’s and other treats.
As the creative grandpa that I am, it was not too long after their arrival, and I had the use of a shop, that I built some things for them. First off, I built them matching hope chests, or toy chests, as they became. I padded the top so they could double as benches, and I 3D printed name plates to distinguish one from the other. Both girls loved them from the start.

Olivia’s Hope Chest, Designed and Built by Don Cheke

Madelyn’s Hope Chest, Designed and Built by Don Cheke
Later the same year, I built treasure chests that I filled with treats. Again, they were received well and that made my heart sing.

Treasure Chests – Closed, Designed and Built by Don Cheke

Treasure Chests – Opened, Designed and Built by Don Cheke
Another thing that I have always loved is kid’s art. I love the innocence of it and the often-fantastic results. As a parent, I always loved to see what Emma came up with and now, as a grandparent, I get to see and delight in Olivia and Madelyn’s artwork. Below are examples of their creations. I think they are great!

Dinosaur by Olivia

Duck by Madelyn

Bluebirds by Olivia

Elephant by Madelyn
As the girls age, I wonder whether or not my last hope, or perhaps my last Rockwellian expectation, will come to bear fruit, or will it be dashed like so many others have. The expectation, or question is, “When will the girls be old enough so that I can give them $5 each to wash and vacuum my car? 😊 LOL!

Clip Art Compiled by Don Cheke from Free Pixabay Artwork
To wrap up, I just want to say what a joy it is to witness the different personalities of the girls and to watch them blossom and share the many wonders that are theirs, their unique humor and all.
I hope that you also share a great bond with your grandchildren, if that is something that life has planned for you. I know that it is not a given in everyone’s life, but I sure am glad it was part of mine. 💖
Donald B. Cheke – March 18, 2024
Nicely said!
Thanks Michael